78 Ways to Turn on Your Man

Ladies, you have been lied to. You have been told women can take control of their sexuality, that women can be powerful and strong and equal to men. Cosmo would tell you that you’ve achieved every goal for women’s rights and that you can do whatever you want.

This is a lie. Because the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed at night, all you will ever be told is that your prerogative, nay, your duty, is to serve men. Magazines, sites, books all tell you that you are not worth anything unless you can find and keep a man, and keep him happy, well fed and well sexed. Movies hardly ever involve a plot where a woman is an independent, unattached female whose life does not at some point revolve around a relationship with a man. We are told over and over again that the reason we are unhappy is that we are too fat, too skinny, too prudish, too whorish, too tall, too gangly or too flat chested. We need to work like pack horses to ever be attractive enough to COMPETE FOR A MAN.

Then, once we have said man, our obligation is to love him, pleasure him and be his cook until we make the mistake of not wearing makeup one day and he leaves us for someone else.

This may not be how you all see your lives, but don’t kid yourselves, even if you don’t believe the lies they push down your throat, you’ve all felt the twinge of envy as that guy you like goes and hits on a girl you’ve convinced yourself is in some way superior to you. You’ve all shaved your legs once… or put on makeup, or wondered if you’re getting too pudgy for men to think you attractive. And thats a damn shame. Because the people you’re competing with don’t exist. They’re not any more interesting, or attractive, or intelligent than you. We all hide behind the idea that being beautiful… and to that end… having a relationship will complete us.

Here’s the problem. MEN don’t ever think about that kind of stuff. They don’t wake up in the morning and worry about whether their face needs a little something extra, or if the clothes they are wearing make them look fat. Men’s magazines and sites may touch on “getting with a girl” but mostly they have pages and pages about things that have nothing to do with women. Sports, gadgets, photography, music, and drugs… men have a schmorgasboard of interests and activities that they are sold that have absolutely nothing to do with “pleasing their woman” or “what to wear on a first date”.

So here’s my challenge for you girls. If you’re in a relationship, seriously consider whether it’s actually making you happy, or if you’re just in one because you’re afraid of being alone. Try being yourself… no makeup, no sexy lingerie, with your man and realize that he probably still thinks you’re fucking hot.

If you’re single, or even if you’re not, take the time to do things you want to do that have nothing to do with spending time trying to be pretty or attracting male attention. Go exploring, get a new hobby, take pictures, take time to find things in yourself that you can value.

Because more than anything, doing what you love will last longer than most relationships. And being someone you can love is more beautiful than wanting to be who you wish you looked like.

Oh… and stop reading Cosmo.

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2 thoughts on “78 Ways to Turn on Your Man

  1. If you’re single, or even if you’re not, take the time to do things you want to do that have nothing to do with spending time trying to be pretty or attracting male attention. Go exploring, get a new hobby, take pictures, take time to find things in yourself that you can value. Because more than anything, doing what you love will last longer than most relationships. And being someone you can love is more beautiful than wanting to be who you wish you looked like. YES, IT IS TRUE IF A MAN TRULY LOVES A WOMAN EVEN SHE IS NOT ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE HE STILL LOVES HER JUST THE SAME SO, YOU DONT HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT JUST TO PLEASE YOUR PARTNER…. IT IS GOOD TO ACT BEING OUR OWNSELF.

  2. Speaking as a man (just), I would like to say that we DO think about that kind of stuff. We worry about the clothes we wear, or the extra weight we have in the belly.

    We then work at getting important sounding jobs, or getting fit, or writing irreverent blog posts to try and seem intelligent and funny, because this is how we stand out. Because we do look at other men and worry. And we do want to get female attention.

    It’s not a women-only thing. It’s a human race thing. Your advice still applies, but it applies to both of us, and everyone else.

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