New Job!

Just got a new job working at Walmart as a cake decorator. So far it’s going well – lots of icing, cheesecake, and strange design ideas, as well as two workplace injuries – both involving the cooler door. The second one got me a nice big gash on my left knee and searing pain for a couple of hours when i tried to bend it. My instructor is very patient and talented, and has been teaching me the basics of decoration. I still have yet to write “Happy Birthday” in letters that are appropriately perfect. Cupcakes, however, are easy, basic cakes are not that hard, AND we have an airbrush machine that makes beautiful colors and patterns.

Now if I can just get over working for the “man”.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream…

Someone once said, I’m sure, that we create our own reality. I don’t know who that would be, or if he’s been often quoted, but it is true that our perceptions make up how we define our universe, what we interpret and how we relate to it.

In that capacity then, do our dreams count as reality when we experience them so vividly, so purely as if the were another reality accessible only through sleep?

Who’s to say what’s real? I never like forcing myself to go to bed. The concept of sleep never really seems attractive to me at night, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a control thing – I don’t like to give up breathing and thoughts and bodily control to my autonomic functions. Not that they don’t take care of it – I’m just not sure if the scenarios they create are really happening sometimes or not: as though I’m traveling through fantastical, crazy universes, where lost things are found, non-existent lovers are met and adventure never ceases to be right around bend after interesting bend. I never feel scared or unhappy in these dreams, save for twice, and I can always just snap my fingers and wake up.

But what do I do when the dream doesn’t want to let go…when I’m so ensnared by the dream that the concept of responsibilities and obligations melts away and I’m only alive in the dream? What do I do when life becomes so monotonous that I’d rather be adventuring in my sleep?
Sometimes I wish I could just go into a perpetually REM state of a coma… but only in the morning, when I miss the dream world, and remember the feelings it gave. By nightfall, my mind is again distrustful of the body and the unknown, and it fights the urge to sleep. Too bad I don’t have a choice.

Money Mail

So after checking my mail nearly constantly for the past month, everything I had been waiting for arrived on the same day.

1. My Debit card – finally, I’ve been waiting for 2 weeks

2. My Background Check Info – basically just said that the credit company doesn’t have any record of my social security number, so my number receives an incomplete when verification is attempted. I am planning on calling the company on Mon to discuss these issues, and try and understand them. As a result of this report, I have tried to find out my credit score, or verify the number myself, but with no luck.

3. A strange letter from Ameren (my power company) telling me that they were owing me $154 for apparently no reason at all. This is a direct result of my housing establishment removing responsibility and giving it to me. I’m pretty sure that kind of switch that costs me that much money should be illegal.

So basically, despite the promise of maybe getting a job decorating cakes at Walmart (interview No. 2 on Mon!) or working at CVS, I’m not even sure what the background check means, and it could cost me every job until I get the situation resolved. I’ve been filling out applications galore, exercising, eating right, turning off lights when I’m not using them and recording my income in a budget book and even trying to keep plants alive, but it seems all in vain.

Being responsible and living alone is now costing me far more money than previously anticipated, to such a crazy, exorbitant amount that I’m not certain I can survive in the real world without my parent’s help.

Not only that, but I still have an old power bill unpaid, no job to pay anything, and NO idea how much the new power bill is going to cost per month (considering AC costs in the summer and the fact that I’m no longer sharing the bill. I need a money miracle.

Marigolds

I had a fun weekend at home visiting with friends, getting a free wicker chair, some new clothes and improving my mental well being. Right after getting home, I headed over to Farm and Fleet to get some nuts and bolts for my license plate and some rope for my hammock. I ended up also buying a window box full of marigolds, which are one of my favorite flowers because of their easy maintainability, bright color and beautiful smell. When in Nepal, garlands of marigolds were typical at celebrations such as weddings.

This was not entirely a successful trip, as I found out shortly after arriving back home. The nuts and bolts were much too big to fit in the tiny holes of my car, so they will have to be returned and replaced. The marigolds got planted in the window box, but I got dirt up to my elbows planting them, and so had to wash off before spending half an hour figuring out how to put the hammock up. After this, I read some of the Narnia series while eating ice pops, and then took a nap in the very relaxing swing of the hammock. I do hope I get to keep it for the summer, as the Woods can be strict on regulations, but at least I had one glorious afternoon.