Well, the main goal right now is to get a job that will pay me a regular paycheck. My parents have made a deal with me that they will keep giving me enough money to live on until I get a job, as long as I fill out 10 applications a week. The issue is, since this is the deal, I feel like some of the applications I would normally have done and turned in right now, despite that the locations are not hiring right now, I’m putting off. Since I’ve already reached my 10 application quota, I’m afraid I’ll run out of places to hire me/the will to keep on filling out the same useless information for places that won’t be hiring for months.
Currently, over ten potential employers know my social security number, by next week it will be 20. Of the potential 50 or so applications I may fill out before I get a job (or more), how many of them will call me for an interview? How many will even consider hiring me since I am a fairly messy, disorganized and opinionated person.
I’ve filled out 8 employment aptitude tests in the past 4 days, and I keep on changing my answers, because I’m not sure what the right answer is. Do I say I’m messy when I’m trying really hard to be more neat? Do I say I have no regrets? How can anyone say they’ve NEVER said anything that has hurt another individual in some way? I feel like all of my weaknesses come to light through the painful repetition of questions.
I wish I could just say: I am not a neat person. I am very talkative, opinionated and lack a certain level of tact. I do not always love everything in my life, and things can get me down. I am loud, I am sometimes unhappy, I don’t always try my very hardest and I don’t work at super light speed. I am not the “perfect employee”, but I will love whatever job I’m given and will keep working hard, because it will give me money for food, and interaction with people on a daily basis, and afford me greater freedom from my financial burdens, and my parents.
If only employers would ask us questions about what we expect of ourselves, how hard we try and overcome our inadequacies, instead of asking us all our weaknesses, no matter how humiliating or embarrassing. I am only 21 years old, and I have too many faults that I have not learned to overcome yet, but damned if I don’t try every day to do something better. Put away a plate, fill out an application, listen for once instead of talking, appreciate people for who they are and the hardships they are going through, instead of expecting them to exist and work purely for your own comfort and gain.
I try and improve myself every day, and the reason I won’t get hired is that I’m not there yet. I’m not yet perfect. Why would you want me to be?