Recently, I’ve done some personal delving into expanding my internal locus of control.
Mainly, I take any and all social situations, whether it be a party, a gathering or just walking down the street, and instead of waiting for things to happen, or paralyzing myself with doubts and fear, I just act on my instincts and better judgment. I remind myself that I alone am in control of the situation, and how I feel about it. I tell myself that I know I am interesting and confident and beautiful and I find that many of my goals can be achieved faster and with more intelligent results.
For example, if I walk into a party where there is a guy who I like, and I say hello to him, but he instantly leaves me to go flirt with someone else, I do not spend the entire night trying to gain his attention, or pining over my inability to get him. Since I am clearly an intelligent, attractive and funny woman, he is the one who has made the choice to go a different direction, and I am free to move on by myself, without any links to the situation.
However, I never refuse an opportunity to try something new, step outside the box or go with my own opinion. I should not feel obligated to stay at events where no one really has any expectation of my attendance. I assume that the men around me find me fascinating because this means that I act with confidence and playfulness, instead of oppressive seriousness and drive.
Once I remind myself that I am in control of my situation, my emotions and my life, that I alone make the decisions as to what happens to me, and minimize, as much as possible, the power of dumb luck and random chance, I know that my future is dependent on only myself, and my involvement in it.
Which means I can make my world any way I want it.
And that’s how I stay happy.