Apparently, it is a widely accepted perspective that everyone goes, in some degree, through the seven stages of grief. Although Depression may permeate the entire process, the stages are as follows:
Shock or Disbelief
Acceptance and Hope
I feel like I spent a fair amount of time in denial, skipped right over guilt and went straight to anger and depression, but sometimes it’s hard to tell whats going on even in myself.
I spend most days in a fairly good mood, with lots of plans and classes to distract myself, projects in the works, analysis of management techniques and self help books. However, when the evening rolls around and I have nothing left to distract myself, my true thoughts tend to be more telling of my mood. I have so far gone only one day without bawling at night, and I broke that record yesterday.
I find it strange the sorts of things that can cause me to simply break down. Initially it was wanting the whole thing back, to go back to how it was and erase the past couple days, then it was the fact that he chose someone else over me, and now it seems to be righteous anger over the fact that he seems to be completely happy while I’m miserable (this coming from someone who claimed to care about my feelings). The fact that he regains every aspect of his life save me, and I lose everything including him seems so unfair that as angry as I am, I still end up crying.
I feel like I’m getting better, sometimes. I just wish I knew when I’d stop being so hung up on this whole situation and feel like I can move on with my life.