The Past Couple Days

Since everyone already knows this story who is close to me, I might as well tell everyone else.

I have been in a non committal, open “friends with benefits” relationship for the past month with a boy who seemingly spontaneously decided this last weekend that he would start flirting with his emotionally and physically abusive ex in front of me.
This lead to an avalanche of confusion and insecurity, that accidentally led me to a psychiatrist and being locked in a guarded hospital room alone for four hours because the doctor was apparently really busy.
As you can imagine, this did not help my mental state at all.
On top of that, I have been quite severely ill for the past couple of days – so I feel gross, tired and completely unattractive.

Now, after surviving all that, he decides he wants to take some time apart.

I’m not really sure where I stand on the whole issue right now. Half of me hates the guy and the other half just wants to feel wanted again; It’s hard to sleep alone when you haven’t for a month. Now the ball is in his court… but I’m not sure if it’s already over or not.
Most of what I’ve heard is that when a guy says he wants some time apart and space to think… it usually means he’s too much of a wimp to just break up. Personally, I’m much more for the knowing and not stalling answers, but who knows, maybe he actually does have stuff he wants to think about. I’m just trying to emotionally survive the next couple days and regain my self respect and self esteem.

It might also help that I cleaned my room today, from the initial advice of my horoscope and further prodding from my roommate.

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2 thoughts on “The Past Couple Days

  1. Usually that is the truth, but not knowing who this guy is I can’t really say much on the situation =/. Either way chin up and keep a stiff upper lip. If you ever need to talk you got a friend in CoMo.

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